This website is a celebration of bears and a gentle reminder to Mr. Colbert of the great contribution bears have made to this country. From esteemed funny man Fozzy Bear to Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear, we have been riding bikes, wearing tutus and eliminating static cling for generations.One obvious omission from this list is the beloved Winnie the Pooh. I should clarify, beloved by humans. Among bears, well, maybe you know someone like this. He's family, and, if the chips are down, of course you'll have his back. But you spend a lot of time trying to come up with excuses why this just isn't a good time for him to visit you. Because, if he does, he might just eat all your food and then get stuck in your front door when he finally tries to leave.
We begin with Pooh. This unfortunate bear embodies the concept of comorbidity. Most striking is his Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), inattentive subtype. As clinicians, we had some debate about whether Pooh might also demonstratesignificant impulsivity, as witnessed, for example, by his poorly thought out attempt to get honey by disguising himself as a rain cloud. We concluded, however, that this reflected more on his comorbid cognitive impairment, further aggravated by an obsessive fixation on honey. The latter, of course, has also contributed to his significant obesity. Pooh’s perseveration on food and his repetitive counting behaviours raise the diagnostic possibility of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Given his coexisting ADHD and OCD, we question whether Pooh may over time present with Tourette’s syndrome. Pooh is also clearly described as having Very Little Brain. We could not confidently diagnose microcephaly, however, as we do not know whether standards exist for the head circumference of the brown bear. The cause of Pooh’s poor brain growth may be found in the stories themselves. Early on we see Pooh being dragged downstairs bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head. Could his later cognitive struggles be the result of a type of Shaken Bear Syndrome?The poor dear...
The Colbear is Stephen's arch-nemesis.There's more, if you can stand it.
The Colbear is a 20 ft tall godless killing machine and is the prime leader of all the bears in the world.
, but as Crocodile Dundee once said, "Me and God, we be mates!"
If you think that little sweetheart is "godless", you might want to consider using your vacation time for a trip to the Emerald City.There is a bear in the woods. For some people the bear is easy to see. Others don't see it at all. Some people say the bear is tame. Others say it's vicious. And dangerous. Since no one can really be sure who is right, isn't it smart to be as strong as the bear? If there is a bear.Yep, another piece of anti-bear propagada. Typical.
That's right--trees!"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles."*smacks cheek with paw* Oh no! He's onto us!
"Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources."
Threat number two, the Bingham Company, which placed this disturbing ad in this week's economist. It's a baby in the clutches of a BEAR! I'd hate to imagine what happened after the flash went off and startled it. To bears, babies are like Pringles--once they pop, they can't stop!
What kind of company is Bingham? A consulting firm?Actually, it says here that they're a law firm. Wonder if they handle libel cases. Maybe Larry should give them a call...
Well, let me consult with you: Should I give my baby to a grizzly bear? Yes, but first rub him with salmon and honey!Mmmm--now I'm getting hungry. Think I will have salmon for dinner tonight. Not sure if I should go with the salmon with pecan honey glaze or the grilled salmon with orange glaze.
